The first I heard of anything associated with the pending zombie outbreak happened on January 3rd. There was a national news story about the death of Cletus McCoy. Now Cletus had been a humble red neck living in a small town in central Alabama. His passing would have been nothing more than a blurb on the local news had it not been for the terms with which he expired.
Apparently Cletus had been full of the Christmas spirit and for the holidays he had decorated his trailer and surrounding area with over 100,000 Christmas lights. There were so many lights in fact, that Cletus had to make some home grown modifications to his fuse box to keep the circuits from tripping. Everything had actually gone fine and dandy until Cletus tried to undo said modification and managed to get himself electrocuted.
Although the charge was enough to knock poor Cletus off his feet, this in itself did not kill him. Cletus was blown backward about five feet and had the misfortune of getting his head caught in one of several bear traps that had been laid out around Cletus’s shed. Now that bear trap is what actually killed Cletus.
You may ask yourself why would a redneck in a place with no bears have bear traps… or the very fact that Cletus was a red neck may be the only answer you need. The official reason, however, was that ol’ Cletus had himself some kind of meth lab in his back shed and he used the bear traps to ward of unwanted visitors. In fact he had even filed the edges of bear traps to make sure the teeth cut extra deep.
So now instead of being a blurb on the local news Cletus McCoy had elevated himself to national celebrity as the year’s first Darwin Awards
nominee.
Apparently Cletus had been full of the Christmas spirit and for the holidays he had decorated his trailer and surrounding area with over 100,000 Christmas lights. There were so many lights in fact, that Cletus had to make some home grown modifications to his fuse box to keep the circuits from tripping. Everything had actually gone fine and dandy until Cletus tried to undo said modification and managed to get himself electrocuted.
Although the charge was enough to knock poor Cletus off his feet, this in itself did not kill him. Cletus was blown backward about five feet and had the misfortune of getting his head caught in one of several bear traps that had been laid out around Cletus’s shed. Now that bear trap is what actually killed Cletus.
You may ask yourself why would a redneck in a place with no bears have bear traps… or the very fact that Cletus was a red neck may be the only answer you need. The official reason, however, was that ol’ Cletus had himself some kind of meth lab in his back shed and he used the bear traps to ward of unwanted visitors. In fact he had even filed the edges of bear traps to make sure the teeth cut extra deep.
So now instead of being a blurb on the local news Cletus McCoy had elevated himself to national celebrity as the year’s first Darwin Awards
nominee. 
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