I managed to escape from the hospital out a pharmacy window. Used a bunch white, folded sheets I found stacked neatly in the corner. I tied them together to make a rope just like you see on the cartoons. Then I climbed down the outside of the building for three floors.
Of course the pharmacy was on the fourth floor. Unfortunately a rope made out of linens doesn’t quite work as well in real life as it does in the cartoons and I fell the last floor. Twisted my ankle pretty bad and had to hobble my way back to the Dead Dozer. Luckily all the zombies were still on the first floor trying to break into the pharmacy.
I climbed into the driver’s seat and sat there with my head pressed against the steering wheel. I was feeling pretty defeated.
When I finally looked up I saw it across the street backlit by heavenly rays of light. I think I even heard angels singing. It was a methadone clinic.
I am pretty sure I had an aunt who had some kind of pain med addiction that took methadone way back when. I figured it would be a substandard substitute at least, and lets face it, beggars can’t be chooser. I just hope Mike hadn’t thought about it.
…
It was all there. Methadone by the pounds. And I took it all. So fuck you Mike. Fuck you all the way to hell.
3 years ago


4 comments:
/Win!
Up yours, Grainger!
Cheering!!
*Methadone by the pounds* I certainly hope little miss nurse can control herself... OD'ing during a zompocalypse is pretty stupid.
WitchDr13 - not to mention it is no picnic to try and ween yourself from methadone. Many say that the cure is worse than the disease. Like our narrator said, though, "I guess beggars can't be choosers".
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